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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Claire's LiveJournal:

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Monday, January 5th, 2004
3:15 pm
If you want to read my journals, i moved to a new website, www.greatestjournal.com my username is the same
Friday, January 2nd, 2004
7:40 pm
I am not who u think i am,
But i'll fill u in as much as i can:

I cried when i saw Peter Pan,
He fought emotion on sea and land
He told poor wendy that he did not feel,
But, when he felt love he became real,
And, the sad part in this u see,
Is that he left his darling, Wendy,
But still you cannot see
For in my heart i am Wendy

I love brown eyes, and to see the sun rise,
They both fill me w/ the same joy
That a child feels w/ a new toy
Brown eyes are warm and filled w/ sunshine
But, cold and blue are the eyes of mine,
And if i stay here for enought time
The lovely brown eyes will never be mine,

Now you have read what i wrote,
But i will tell you this as my little note
You will never understand this poem as a whole
Unless you read inside my soul
For you may read the riddles on these lines
But, in my heart the answers lie
Wednesday, December 31st, 2003
2:56 pm
I was looking in Fred's file cabinet to find paper. I found a couple other things too. I didn't try, i needed printer paper. I guess i found out why he keeps it locked. I found a bag of pot and some rolling papers, and thongs, like 20 of them. Why did i have to be the one to find it?
2:30 pm
Everclear - TV Show
Buy this album!
From the album "Slow Motion Daydream"

I walk around in the market
Late at night
I walk around in the empty aisles
And I don’t know why
I need to be
Close to the light
So I walk around
In the middle of the night

I drive around in the neighborhood
I wanna lose my house
Drive around on the freeway
Guess I wanna lose myself
Turn the key
Turn the dial
Listen to the radio
And just drive for a while

Yeah, I got no place to go
I wish I
Could come home
To a life that looks like a TV show
Wish I
Could see
My television family waiting for me

Where no one fights
No one screams
No one lies
And no one leaves
I don’t care how the story ends
I wanna feel like I’m living again

I drive away from the city
Need to see the sky
Drive away from the bad things
That make me close my eyes
Leave it all
In the past
Drive away
Going nowhere fast

Yeah, now I got nowhere to go
I wish I
Could go home
To a life that looks like a TV show
Wish I
Could see
My television family waiting for me

Where no one fights
And no one screams
No one lies
And no one leaves
I don’t care how the story ends
I wanna feel like I used to feel
I wanna feel like I’m living again

Whoa
I’m living again
Whoa
I’m living again
Whoa
Breathing out
And breathing in
Whoa
I’m living again

Walk away from the circles
Need to find myself
I think I need to start over
Need to start making sense

Breathe out
Breathe in
I wish I could start all over again

I wish I could do it all over again

I wish I
Could come home
To a life like the one that I used to know
I wish I
Could someday see
Everything back the way it used to be

Where no one cries
No one screams
No one hits you
And no one leaves
Everybody loves how the story ends
All the bad guys lose
And the good guys win

I wish I could do it all over again

I wanna feel someday
I can really start living again

Whoa
I’m living again
Whoa
I’m living again
Whoa
I’m living again

Whoa
I am living again

Whoa
I’m living again
Whoa
I’m living again

Whoa
Yes, I’m living again
Sunday, December 28th, 2003
1:54 am
This seems stupid, but i've decided. My favorite eye color is brown. The rich chocolaty brown that you could stare in for days. The kind of brown that reminds you of a warm summer day, that started out with rain, and ended in a warm bright sunset. The kind of brown that reminds you of a loving smile after you've been gone from home, and you know you were missed. I know that this seems insignificant to you, but you wouldn't believe what this means to me.
Tuesday, December 16th, 2003
4:27 pm
I'm sick of it. My family always puts me last. They don't care about me. It's all "oh ann's soooooooo smart!", and "Fred has so many friends, he's so social,". You know what? I used to be my dad's favorite, we were always left out from everyone else, we were the only ones that understood each other, but that's all changed. Ann's his favorite now. "She's so smart, you know the first one in our family to go to college." he brags about her to everyone. That used to be me. And then my grandpa Schoonveld, I used to be his favorite. I used to get a little extra money for my birthday, and i'd always get an extra big kiss, i was named after him, and i act just like him, he used to brag about me to other people. But, now it's ann, ann, ann, oh she's so perfect. Do u know how much money he gave her for Christmas? 150$, and the rest of us got 50$. Do u know what kind of car fred got? a brand new Grand Am, 25,000$ worth of car. Ann got to pick her own car. Do u know what my first car's gonna be? ann's old 1995 Neon, and she gets a brand new car. I know i'm lucky to get a car, but why do i get the crappy car? Why am i always last? They don't even care. I work so hard to make them happy, I try so hard to get good grades and try to be nice, but i'm never as smart as Ann, or as nice as fred. I can't wait until i move away. i'm just sick of it all.

Current Mood: disappointed
Friday, December 12th, 2003
3:45 pm
Ok, i'll update
Nothing has really happened. I'm injured from gym. I had ALL choir for seminar, that was great. I wish i could have choir everyday. I really have no clue what to right about. ug, i have to go bowling tonite, and i really don't want to, i don't want to so much that i'm hoping there's a car accident on the way there, and w/ my family that's very possible. I'm so sick of the snow melting, why won't it just stay? grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. i just wanna go sledding, and don't mock me, sledding is so fun! oh, today at lunch Chad was attacking me, and i ended up on the floor (b/c i tripped on my own feet) and stephanie and leah were standing over me asking me where i was born (they have to do some thing for BAT) so there was claire in the middle of the cafeteria on the floor, all her friends crowding around her wondering where she was born, and chad laughing so much. It was just really funny looking, u prob. had to be there, but it was really funny!

Current Mood: discontent
Wednesday, December 10th, 2003
6:58 pm
So, i had a skills test in gym today. we had to hit the ball off the wall and count how many times we could hit it. I got 6. Melissa (my partner who i was counting for) got 2 the first time and 3 the second time. Mr. Saltzgaber was watching her (b/c he said that he would watch 5 people to see if anyone cheated) and then he made a mark on his paper, so i knew that he was counting. I told her that she got 2, and later 3, but she decided to tell mr. s. that she got 12, and she wanted me to say that i got 9, but i didn't. Well, anyway mr.s. knew she cheated, and guess who got zero on her test? ME! And did melissa, my good friend, stand up for me and say that it wasn't my fault? no, she didn't say anything. I even told her not to cheat, but she did anyway. The zero on the test isn't that bad, i could honestly care less, but she didnt' even stand up for me. I would have stood up for her, isn't that what friends do? I feel betrayed, i know that it's not that big of a deal, and it wasn't like she did something so horrible bad, it's just, how could she do that? and call me her friend? I am mad.

Current Mood: disappointed
Sunday, December 7th, 2003
3:44 pm
HELP! I don't know what to get Chad for Christmas! He's not the easiest guy to shop for, i can't buy some cologne and call it good! HELP!!!!!!!!!!

Current Mood: frustrated
Saturday, December 6th, 2003
10:29 pm
another quiz, do u think it's true?
You're Most Like The Season Spring ... Fresh faced, with a young outlook on life - you smile at the world and expect it to smile back at you. You're mostly a bubbly, fun - innocent person. Described as cute possibly. However, you're a little naive about things and tend to be a little too trustworthy. As the first season, It Makes you the youngest - and so most immature - but people are inclined to look out for and protect you. Well done... You're the most fun of the seasons :)
9:51 pm
Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're the kind of chick that can hang out with your boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't care about presents or about going to fancy placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy being around your boyfriend.
That's me! i took a quiz!
Friday, December 5th, 2003
7:38 pm
I'm gonna go to a movie w/ chad, jake holst, and some girl that jake knows. I can't wait! People keep yelling at me for not telling them, they had to find out thru other people. But, other than that my life is pretty borring. Nothing much ever happens. It's almost christmas, and i haven't gotten anybody presents. i better get some soon. oh well, gotta go, more tomorrow.

Current Mood: content
Thursday, December 4th, 2003
3:33 pm
Update for Wendi
Ok, oficial update. Chad was sick today :-( I'm gonna call him soon, but i'm afraid that he'll be sleeping and i'll wake him up, or he'll puke on the phone. Derek's still being so freaking annoying that i can't stand it! I told more people about me and chad, and more people laughed. My friends, at lunch today, were all grossed out b/c one of them said can u imagine claire and chad kissing? so now they're all grossed out. I happen to like chad! And i called him hott, and they all about puked, but he is! I don't know what else to say, so i'll leave it at this.
Tuesday, December 2nd, 2003
3:30 pm
ok, so u know i'm going out w/ chad. Well on monday i was talking to some people, and brit. filker and laura-lee were behind me, and i heard a little bit of what they were saying Brit. "...Chad and Claire are going out..." L.-lee "really? no way!" and then today in global studies Brit. F. comes up to me and Chad, and goes "are u guys going out?" so, it's kinda apparent that she already knew, and she sat by chad all hour, but she waited until i was talking to him to ask?
Anyway i hadn't really told anybody that me and chad were going out, b/c i knew they would laugh at me, but today at lunch, i couldn't stop smiling, and they all knew something was up, so i told them. They all laughed! And in church on Sunday chad was talking in Sunday School (he goes to the same church as Steph. Brown, so i hear all about him!) and he said that it's soooo hard to ask someone out. It must be, he was talking to me for like 2 hrs, and he had to go, and he just blurted, will u go out w/ me? maybe he thought i would say no, but there's no way that i could say no to him! ( here's something interesting that i bet u didn't know about me, I had a crush on Chad in third grade!)

Current Mood: ecstatic
Saturday, November 29th, 2003
10:54 pm
Chad asked me out! i of course said yes! i hope he wasn't joking, i'm so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, November 26th, 2003
8:03 pm
I'm really kinda excited! I might do something w/ Chad. Which would be totally fun! I just made a turkey! I had to stick my hand up it's frozen butt and get it's gross guts out! fun, huh? weirdest thing happened. I had a dream that Justin Bartz was gonna offer to take me home yesterday. And, then he offered to take me home. How weird, it's like my dreams are coming true. And then i had a dream that my cousin was pregnant, and today she said that she felt sick and had weird cravings. I don't actually think that she's pregnant, but do u know how weird that would be? Why can't i dream about better stuff? lol

Current Mood: drunk
Saturday, November 22nd, 2003
7:19 pm
i just found out, derek thinks that i'm mad at him for liking kelly because i'm jealous.JEALOUS!!!!!!!! I am not jealous of kelly! derek is gay, homosexual!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! y would i be jealous?!
7:16 pm
OFICIAL UPDATE!!!!!
I'm scared. When i die only my friends and family will remember me, and when they die, my memory will die too. But, my life doesn't even matter. The only thing that matters is believing in God and going to Heaven, I won't even remember my life when i go to Heaven. So, I ask, why i am i living this life, if it doesn't even matter?

Current Mood: confused
Tuesday, November 18th, 2003
7:51 pm
so, everybody thinks i like derek. I DON'T!!!!!!!!!! HE'S ANNOYING, HE RUINED MY PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i like somebody else, who's nothing like derek, and that's the way i like it. we're friends, he's great. everybody thinks that he's gross and scary and weird but he's not, now that i've gotton to know him, and i didn't just look on the outside i've fallin in like with him!!!!!!!!!! And he makes me happy, he makes me laugh, he does stupid stuff just for laughs, just like me. I know ur like, what? claire doesn't do stupid stuff just for laughs, but that's b/c i've never been able to show my real self to anybody before, except him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Current Mood: crazy
Monday, November 10th, 2003
3:23 pm
You can tell me it's a crush. Tell me it's not love. You can tell me anything u want, i won't listen. I know my heart, i know when things are real. I also know how he broke my heart, and that was real. I can't hide my feelings any longer. What happened happened. I didn't like it i even hated it, but i'll live.
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